open minded ness

so, we live in this place called "the world"  within the confines of this thing called "the flesh..."
how tragic.
meanwhile, somewhere in the heavenlies, there are no such confines.
we are told we are heaven bound, yet in this odd conundrum called the life of faith where faith alone seems insufficient for the goal.
yet,
i would argue that open-mindedness is needed.
the straight and narrow path should not close the door on an open mind because we know in part and we prophesy in part.
so, instead of tragedy, i choose opportunity.

sobriety and vigilance

somehow it seemed that they thought that it was because we partake of the earth. 
once or twice.
it was not.
if only it were that simple.
what i did tell him was that i could not compete with the one by his side; it is true.
i asked him to pray for me and he did.
the courtship is to find out --
who do you believe in?
who are you praying to?
could you bow to a lesser God?
some do.
that's how i knew the Senegalese one was not for me.
so i asked, "avez-vous une emotion pour moi?"
the question hangs thick in the air; thicker than smoke.
i gave up a little sobriety and vigilance to deal with the fact that first john's declaration is invading my conscious reality of relationship; because i messed up by ever calling it anything but emotion for myself.

re-order my steps.

oui, elle est réelle

bien que mal qu'il a essayé désespérément de comprendre si j'étais hasard ou réel , je ne pouvais pas le lui reprocher . i répondu à un appel d'autel à 8 ans et de nouveau à 22 ans , j'ai été baptisé à ALCF peu de temps après par le personnel du pasteur Paul . depuis 5 ans je me suis enfui de toute tentation .
Pourtant, à la première date avec lui je laisse aller .
Je ne pense que vivre la vie avec un attitiude de «juste un » peut être contre-intuitif . après toutes les larmes , mon expérience de " un seul" ne m'oblige à errer à une seconde . Cependant , je suis venu à une compréhension de ce qui s'était réellement passé .
j'ai trouvé l'amour dans les bras d'un homme .
maintenant , je ne peux pas dire grand-chose pour la sagesse dans ce domaine. les sages femmes vivent une vie pour simplement s'asseoir aux pieds de «un seul ». sages femmes utilisent leurs tounges à jouer à l'esprit de " juste un . " même les femmes sages explorer beaucoup de «juste un», et prennent un chemin classique . même sages femmes réfléchissent encore jamais dans la réalité , mais seulement dans le secret de leur cœur .
jouer le fou , je laisse tout ce qui est naturel décider mon chemin à «un seul ».
questions demeurent .
at-il trouvé l'amour dans les bras d' une femme ?
Pourtant, je sais et je vis la vérité .
encore , le plus grand amour de tous reste maître de ma vie .
même si ceux de la question de bourses si cela peut être …

although hurt that he tried so desperately to figure out if i was random or real,  i could not  blame him.  i answered an altar call at age 8 and again at age 22; I was baptized at ALCF a short time later by Pastor Paul's staff.  for 5 years i fled from all temptation.
yet, on the first date with him i let go.
i do suppose that living life with an attitiude of "just one" can be counterintuitive.  after all the tears, my experience of "just one" did compel me to wander to a second.  however, i came to an understanding of what had actually happened.
i found love in the arms of a man.
now, i cannot say much for the wisdom in this.  the wise women live a lifetime to simply sit at the feet of "just one."  wise women use their tounges to play to the mind of "just one."  even wiser women explore many for "just one," and take a conventional path.  even wiser women still ponder never in reality, but only in the secrecy of their own hearts.
playing the fool, I let all that is natural decide my path to "just one."
questions still remain.
did he find love in the arms of THIS one woman?
yet, i know and live truth.
yet, the greatest love of all remains master of my life.
even when those in the fellowship question if that can be...

day yum

had pride.

prided myself because i did receive the kingdom as a little child.  that was good, so i thought, because of all the references to the beauty of children and the child-like faith.  i became a sponge.  a sham wow if you will.

so, while i was busy holding twelve times my weight in liquid, what happened?  i held 12 times my weight in liquid!  sham wows are CLEANSING products (not liquid holding products), all sponges are!  

Duh.

so, although the properties of the material itself lend toward absorption, it is the cleansing power of the sponge that makes it truly a valuable product and a powerful metaphor for children, instead of some stale cleeshay.

so, what now?

of course humility; but, a humility that acknowledges lessons learned.  a humble walk that does not deny its past but walks boldly into its jeremiah 29:11 because of Him, not because of me.  a humble walk that turns anger into quiet strength and pride into greater knowledge and deeper wisdom.

a humility that still believes in the beauty of the babies, but acknowledges that i am not one.

i am just a child.